June >>>> The ab month.......

This month I will focus exclusively on my abs.
Yeah yeah I will continue to work my other parts, but June is AB month........
I have been running and swimming hard, but I need some focus on my core......

I also want to try to kick the dirty smoking habit....Its out of control...
my breathing in the pool and on my runs, is disgraceful......What a shame...
I am fit...fit...fit....and then after a good sweat I light up....sick sick sick...

B/P has become an issue again.....throat is so sore....muscles hurt.....I need to grab the reigns of the wild horse called "my Life"............................

Its the 30th....I will start today and as of the 1st its military w/o's

Not sure what is going on with my toes.....
Last night during my 5km run my toes in my left foot acted up....pain was awful, I ended up walking last km.
ususally they go numb and BOOM no pain.........

wish I had a foot massage man ready at the door when I arrive home all dusty and sweaty.

wow

I found this pic stunning, informative, and an inspiration to continue with my goals
the heavy one weighs 220lbs... the slim 120 lbs.

I am not friends with the scale this week.
I miss the feeling of my stomach being empty, flat, tight.
I understand that I am pms and I always feel like a pregnant yak this time of month.

I refuse to go back to my old habit of over eating.
this month has been poor, poor, poor.........

I need to get back on track....get my mojo back.

The death of my grandma made my internal dialogue turn on me....
instead of straight and narrow...it said "go ahead, eat it"....
"you poor thing, you lost grandma, eat more ice cream".........
I have to turn that pity party off and get back on track.......
the B/P has been at an all time high.....so not good...........

drunk

My best friend of 30 years (since grade 2) is a drunk.
I love her.
we have lived our lives always in touch, always close.
we had our first periods together.
Our babies together
Divorces together
Boyfriends together
ups.......
and way downs.
always together.

It upsets me to drop by at 5pm and hear the slur.....
see the confusion
watch the shoddy cover up

When we lived together she threw her cans out....
She hid her beer under her bed (warm beer yuck)

Her kids know "no other way"
we had serious talks many times over the years about this.....
she does good for awhile then right back at it

Its time for another talk
a long non judgemental talk
I pray for her
I love her

I am sure she is suffering from Wernickies Korsakoff syndrome

mothers day run....I ran for Grandma Sand........

Ran my second 5K.....
It was so interesting. The course was the same, but this time I whipped past all the spots I had to stop and walk last year. It felt good....a real pay off to getting fit.
The run was called "Mothers Day run for the Stollery children's hospital"
A cause near and dear to my heart as my own child had a tumour removed from her leg
in 2005 at the stollery.......

When running through the finish I saw my two daughters beaming with pride...
I could hear my father yelling "go Rachel"......
I loved it....I lived life to the fullest in those God given moments........

LAST YEAR and A BIT OF THIS YEAR

Last year I lost 55 lbs
I ran my first 5km run
I started swimming again
my boyfriend gave me a "shut up ring"
I adjusted the people I allow to be around me
I bought a new Car
I started blogging
I revamped my bedroom (new floor, paint, light fixture)
I did not drink any alcohol
I painted my daughters room purple (grape)
I had a good pap
I had a new bigger deck put on my house
I went to Britney Spears and the pussy cat dolls
I made more time for my eldest (daughter, lives on her own)
I became close to a new friend
I read hundreds of good books
I started worrying about my sons future
I purged way to much (once is to much)
I tanned too much
I watched my youngest go from a little girl to a young woman
I helped save a few lives
I watched a few people die

this year
I lost my Grandma
I gained a new cousin "Molly Ray"
I worked out in a new town, new pool, new gym
I said to hell with the politics at work
I went from to conservative to who the fuck knows....just no more conservative vote from me
I see my sister slowly dying of anorexia